Many people talk about how you make yourself happy and how it’s not someone else who makes you happy.
I say that you make yourself angry, and no one can make you angry other than yourself, but I disagree with saying you can make yourself happy on your own just by choosing to be happy.
Being angry and being happy are not the same. Anger is due to your interpretation of an event, but happiness requires fulfilling your need to be valuable, just like hunger requires food.
In order to be valuable, someone has to value you. Diamonds and gold are worthless if no one is willing to pay for them. Likewise, you are worthless if you are not serving a useful purpose in some way, and your subconscious mind knows this. There is no way around it, it’s the nature of the human spirit.
Happiness can be increased through the process of removing or eliminating negative emotions. Simply by not being negative or angry, you will by default, be happier. But true deep happiness and self-satisfaction comes when you are useful in some way and so you feel worthy of your existence.
Finding love and a relationship of course does that, because you are loved and wanted, but also a job that is in a way useful, charity work, creating something of beauty every day, in these ways, you are useful and making other people’s lives or day a little better. My motto is; ‘Everyday, make someone smile.’
If you can do this you will be happy, but if you are only looking at yourself, that happiness is short lived and shallow and cannot last. This is why buying new cloths or toys is a short lived happiness, it only serves your human ego and not your deeper heart.
If you cannot find lasting happiness in your life, then it is obvious, you are looking in the wrong place. You cannot give it to yourself, you cannot simply choose to be happy and actually be happy for very long before the imagination wears off. There is something else. Allegorically we could say, another world, another dimension, is where your happiness lies.
A change in your view of how to be happy is required. You cannot make yourself happy alone. Happiness requires being useful in some way, and that means there must be someone else involved.
When you accept that you are forever dependent on someone else for your happiness and self-satisfaction, you will no longer be like Harry looking for his keys in the garden when he lost them in the house. Why is he looking in the garden? his friend asked him. ‘Because the light is much better out here.’
The flashy things of life are easy to see, and the marketing tells us that will make us happy. But the real happiness comes from something outside of you which gives meaning to your life. That may be hidden and harder to find, but it is there.
Do not be lazy in your search. Start looking for what may be as alien to your concepts as another world. You are dependent on water, food, air and shelter to keep your body alive. You are equally dependent on other people to give you a purpose in your life to keep your soul happy and your heart and mind at peace.